It’s time to stop second-guessing, men are complicated beasts and trying to work out what they really want is a tricky business. Here’s what men really look for in a relationship.
Someone to be vulnerable with
Newsflash: men are complicated. They might be really tight with their regular Friday or Saturday night drinking mates but there are often unwritten rules associated with these kinds of blokey friendships that prohibit men from talking about anything too soppy or showing any
This is not about playing hard to get or messing a guy around, but a man does like to be kept on his toes a little. As women, it’s always tempting to adopt the ‘nod and smile’ tactic when we first meet a guy and want to be liked, but leaving him entirely unchallenged is bad news for both parties. Let’s face it, a good looking guy at a party will not have any trouble attracting the ladies, but the ones that will stick in his mind are those that aren’t just putty in his hands. A secure woman who knows her mind is seductive, and longer term, it’s a recipe for mutual respect and keeps things constantly interesting.
Someone who can read him
ESP is what we really need, but failing that, a woman who can learn to read and interpret the nuances of her man’s behaviour is on to a winner. Why does this require particular talent? Because men are just as good as women at saying one thing and meaning another, or worse, bottling stuff up. This could mean anything from knowing when to not talk over the TV to understand that he goes OTT in the company of your male best friend because he feels insecure around him. This kind of instinct for what lies beneath takes time to develop, but it can save a world of trouble in the long term.
Sure! This might appear low down the list of what a man thinks he wants – beneath, good looks, nice eyes and a pert bum – but after the first few dates, a man will start to look beyond these signs of initial attraction. And of course, some of the best relationships start with friendship. The reason is simple – a good relationship relies on shared interests, the enjoyment of conversation and the ability to make each other laugh. This is especially true when a guy has one rule for friends and another for potential love interests.