Nkechi Bianze: Dear Nigerian Side Chics!

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“The more I try to hate you people less, the more you come up with more shits that make me hate you more. It’s bad enough that many of you lack conscience enough to inflict pains on other women by dating their husbands.

It’s insane enough that many of you go as far as having face-offs with the wives of these men who you date.

But don’t try that nonsense of saying every woman was or has been a side chic.

I understand; maybe this whole nonsense runs in your family. Maybe your great grandmothers, grandmothers, mothers, sisters, and every woman in your family were wicked enough to run after married men, that’s YOUR family, that’s YOU!

There are some of us from more decent families. Some of us who still have some ounces of conscience left in us. Don’t rope us into your shits by saying every woman has been a side chic.

I don’t exactly come from a very poor family, at least my parents were ok enough to provide me the basic things of life. But still, I started working hard and earning since I was a teenager, just to avoid having to date men, married or single for money. Even though I had and still have the opportunity to date rich married men.

Sometime last month, I applied to a company to partner with me in my business. I have since been communicating with the CEO.


Halfway into our business discussion, just when I thought everything was about to fall in place, this guy gave me a condition; he wanted me to date him in order to get the contract worth over 100-million Naira….. he wanted to partner with me with that amount. I’m still currently trying to get him to stop thinking about me, and let’s talk business, but he is adamant about what he wants, even though he has never set his eyes on me.


If I lose this again, this would be my biggest business opportunity loss.

I want to state that over the past five years, I have lost opportunities and contracts that could have landed me in money just because these randy married old men insist I date them or sleep with them before I get the business favour I applied to them for. Some of them wanted just a night with me, not even long term relationships. While some of them wanted longterm relationships.

Someday after I make it, I will tell you people the stories.

See, I’m not a saint, but I’ve made sacrifices, I’ve forfeited millions of Naira contracts just because I don’t want to date married men.

I have earned my bragging rights. Yes, I have worked hard to earn it, inorder not to be roped into your shits.

So, please don’t rope me into your shits.

If many of you have had the opportunities I had, you would have been cooperate whores by now, albeit rich ones. But I forfeited all those, and still battling one at the moment.

Quite frankly, sometimes I don’t know if this living upto my personal values is worth it. I don’t even know whether I would make same decisions if I had the chance to relive the last five years of my life. I could have been very rich by now.

You are a side chic? Fine! Own it! Don’t drag the rest of us who have sense into your shits just to make yourself feel good about your wicked habit.

Stop trying to play smart by altering the popular definition of side chics.

NOT all women have been side chics. NOT all women have dated married men. Some us have forfeited a lot just to maintain our integrity.

Stop trying to rope us in!

Written by:  Nkechi Bianze
Nkechi Bianze is a student, feminist advocate and a fearless writer. You can follow her on Facebook to read more of her interesting arguments here
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