Back home in my family church, whenever there’s an altar call for people who want children, it’s almost ALWAYS only married WOMEN that you find coming out.
There was this couple in one of the branches. They were married for more than ten years with no child.
The wife was always fasting and praying. She worked and volunteered in the church. She went to hospitals to get herself checked just to be sure nothing was wrong with her, and all her results came out fine and all clear.
This lady went through lots of mockery and pains from both family and society.
As a child, I saw this woman was in pains. She desperately needed a child. She was the first woman for whom I prayed to God to give a child, just so this beautiful woman can smile again.
After more than 12years of marriage, the man’s family advised him to take a second wife. The church actually “understood” with the decision to take another wife.
The wife’s family and friends came and “pulled” her out of that marriage.
The husband took another young wife, and life continued.
Fast-forward to about two years later, the ex-wife got pregnant and got married to another man, the one responsible for her pregnancy. She had the first child, then had a second child.
It was at this point that the ex-husband who was still childless with his new young wife decided to go check himself out.
For 12 good years, a couple was married. They couldn’t have a child. The woman did everything, both religiously and medically, and she was confirmed ok. And it didn’t occur to this man to go have himself checked out. It didn’t occur to anyone around him to tell him that it takes TWO fertile people and not just one fertile woman to make a baby.
And that brings me to the point of this post.
Too often, some people think that because a man has erection and ejaculates, it automatically means he is fertile.
Having and sustaining an erection, and being able to ejaculate does NOT translate to being fertile. Many men “shoot blanks”.
Infertility can result from symptomless infections and STIs. These infections can stay in your body for long without external symptoms but might render your sperm completely useless and unable to fertilize eggs.
There are also other medical reasons that might cause infertility in men.
Many Nigerian women have suffered for years due to the infertility of their husbands.
In Nigeria, if a couple is not able to have a child, it’s always the woman that needs to be checked out. And this has caused many couples to remain childless for too long, as a result of fertility issues of the men.
It is common sense to know that since it takes two humans to make a child if there is difficulty in making a child, it is the two people, or all the parties involved that need to be checked out.
Till this very day, in most Nigerian Churches, it is still mainly only women that respond to alter calls for those looking for children.
I grew up to find this sickening and appalling.
Especially since various research statistics reveal that infertility issues affect men AS MUCH as it affects women. How then is it that until recently, only women were suspected to be the ones with the problem?
If a couple finds it difficult to have a child, it’s is NOT NECESSARILY the woman’s fault. It can as well be the man having some fertility issues.
Nigerian pastors should always ask the husbands of those women who respond to alter calls to come out with their wives. Men need prayers to have children as much as women do.
Doctors and nurses who treat fertility issues should always insist or recommend that the husbands or partners of the female patients come have themselves checked out too. In some countries, fertility clinics are reluctant to attend to just one person without his or her partner. You only begin to single out one person for treatment AFTER the diagnosis have been made, and you discover the other person is fine.
This is 2018, there is little or no excuse for ignorance induced problems.
Written by – Nkechi Bianze