Looking from the outside, all we saw from Nollywood sweethearts, Adesua Etomi and Banky W’s rosy marriage was glitz, glam, fun, happiness and more fun! However little did we know that the couple has been struggling in their marriage just like regular normal people?
Seeing as their love story has been smooth and beautiful since it started, nothing prepared 40-year-old Banky W and beautiful 35-year-old Adesua for the difficult marital journey they will encounter after their fabulous memorable celebrity wedding. They had to deal with miscarriages, failed IVF, trolls, infidelity rumours, and other marital difficulties. They kept a secret until recently when they decided to be a vessel of hope and inspiration to other couples.
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The couple shocked us once again during the Easter Sunday service on April 4, 2021, in church. Adesua and Banky opened up about what they have been going through in their marriage and the traumatic experiences that left them scarred.
Nollywood finest, Adesua Etomi and RnB singer Olubankole Wellington, better known as Banky W, became the nations most adorable couple after their engagement went viral on social media in 2017. The perfect couple melted the hearts of Nigerians and movies lovers across Africa after starring in Kemi Adetiba blockbuster movie, “Wedding Party” as the lead role couple in 2016, and their chemistry made fans cry for them to become a couple in real life.
After Banky’s adorable proposal and Adesua said Yes, The beautiful couple quickly had their traditional wedding in November of 2017 and an ethereal white wedding ceremony in Cape Town, South Africa, a year later.
Just like every married couple in Nigeria, and as one of the perfect celebrity couple madly in love with each other, fans expected everything to go smoothly for the young couple. However, after 3 years of childlessness, reports started circulating that some things are not going well for the adorable couple.
Adesua and Banky despite looking very much in love, reduced public appearances and PDA on social media. In every photo Adesua posted, some fans zoomed in to see if she was pregnant. Her friends were getting married and having babies less than a year after marriage.
As if things could only get worse, reports of Banky W cheating on Adesua with Gabriel Afolayan’s wife made headlines in March of 2020. The couple will later agree that the story destabilized them for a while as it was difficult to decide whether to confirm, debunk, or ignore the allegations.
The well-loved couple however shocked their fans precisely on February 22, 2021, after showing off photos of Adesua’s baby bump on social media, exactly on her birthday.
We will later find out that the couple welcomed their first child on February 22, 2021. They had kept the pregnancy a secret for the whole 9 months. Because of fear of the unknown, they also kept the birth a secret for four solid weeks.
On Easter Monday, 3 months after welcoming baby Zaiah, Adesua and Banky sat down in Church to reflect on their journey and testify how God turned their loss into laughter and their tears into triumph. Bearing it all, the couple made several revelations about their struggles so far.
Talking about physical struggle, the couple revealed it all started after Banky halted his music career for politics in 2018. running for House of Representative Member of Eti-Osa local government area in Lagos State which he eventually lost. Adesua noted that she was in full support of her husband’s newfound politicking career but the stressful campaign left them little time to spend with each other and started threatening their love foundation. But they eventually managed to bridge the gap by speaking each other’s love language.
Talking about the spiritual and mental side of things, Adesua went on to explained how they had planned their marital lives to the last details and one of the things they decided they would do is have their children early so they can focus on their busy careers. Sadly, things didn’t go as planned. She confessed how they tried to get pregnant each month, and nothing happened. Before they could know it, a year was gone, and there was no pregnancy, no baby.
As a well-organised couple who had planned out their life journey as a family, they decided to dig deep and find out why they were not getting pregnant like every other normal couple are expected to do.
Adesua revealed she was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), a condition that affects how the ovaries work with symptoms such as irregular periods and difficulty getting pregnant, an issue linked to hormone with no clear causes. According to our research, PCOS can happen to any women by luck across the globe.
At the same time, her husband, Banky W, was also suffering from abnormal sperm morphology, a condition according to doctors affects the shape and size of sperm and its ability to dissolve the outer surface of an egg to fertilize it. Again, ASM can happen to any man by luck across the globe.
Adesua will reveal that for her own struggle, at some point, her doctors feared she might suffer early menopause and suggest they save her eggs.
They decided to try in-vitro fertilization (IVF) to their amazement, it worked and got pregnant with twins. But just when they thought their joy was full, they lost the babies a few months later.
Adesua emotionally detailed how she found out after a routine checkup and the doctor couldn’t find the babies heartbeat. Her reaction has to be the most heartbreaking experience ever. She said she started laughing when the doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat and when she got home, she collapsed and wailed like a widow who had just lost everything.
Because they were desperate to have a child, Adesua said they went through another IVF process and lost the baby again. Making reference to the 2019 photos of her and Toolz with her bulging belly making the rounds as a pregnancy, she said it was not due to pregnancy as widely thought but due to the rigorous IVF process that causes her to be bloated.
Pregnancy difficulties were not the only thing Banky and Adesua passed through, they also talked about dealing with social media trolls and womb watchers who continued reminding them of their childlessness. Adesua said it was not easy coping with trolls who kept saying that she had done something with her womb and calling her all sorts of derogatory names. She said she couldn’t have an opinion on social media without womb watchers telling her to go and give birth to a child. And then, there was pressure from close family and friends too.
Despite all their challenges, Adesua and Banky have proven that their love is strong and continues to win. Going back to an interview Banky W had in 2019, he revealed that the secret to his successful marriage with Adesua is because they love each other dearly and are the right partner for themselves. He said, “I think that when you wait for the right person, the right person is worth the wait because you find that with them, it’s a lot easier. Both of you are on the same page and trying to build that life together. It’s a lot easier. Things ARE just better.”
Without a doubt, their fans are still praying for the couple because with the birth of their son, Zaiah, comes another episode of marital troubles as they have to juggle their busy celebrity life with raising a child.
They confessed during the explosive revelation that they have not been getting much sleep. But because they beat all odds to celebrate their 3rd wedding anniversary as a power couple, fans are sure they will surmount this difficulty again.
Watch Adesua & Banky W full interview