Would You For Any Reason, Choose To Marry Someone That Abuses You, Over Someone That Respects You?

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“Filthy,” “violent,” and a “thief.” 

Those were the exact words of Mr. Abiodun Lincoln, the ex-husband of Zlatan Ibile’s video vixen, Bolanle. The pair separated recently, after a turbulent marriage of six months.  

You would wonder what would make a husband lament with such words. Interviews had it that the wedding crashed due to abuse. The young man had earlier spoken about how he was constantly abused and degraded by the video vixen, but a recent social media post by Bolanle has evidence of her being battered by her ex-husband. In her words:

“I want you to know that whatever I went through with Lincoln, he will go through ten times harder. If only he can watch a man threat his sister like this. And he should get his lawyer ready too. Cause they will pick him and Lincoln up too.”

Pictures of her disfigured face followed this outpour of anger.

The ex-husband, in turn, stated this:

“Before I started raising my hands, Bolanle used to beat me.”

“I don’t use to touch her before,” he furthered.

In a couple of days to come, the media will be greeted with the anger they both have for each other right now.

You begin to ask the question: Were there no signs of domestic violence during their courtship?

Maybe they saw it at the beginning like most couples crying “domestic violence” these days.  I often wonder why people exchange peace of mind for something else. 

Maybe they married because of something they could get from each other while daring the basics in matrimony. 

 At some points in their lives or the lives of certain people undergoing domestic violence, there are possibilities of bonding with people who could give them peace of mind. They must have encountered people who would respect them.

But you see, the thing with the heart is this: It wants what it wants. And sometimes, what it wants is what will kill it. 

I believe people should be more intentional about who they’ll spend the rest of their lives with. These things can be seen during courtship, in one way or the other. You can know a kind human when you see one, and a kind human won’t settle issues with you by abusing you.

It’s now left for you to decide if peace of mind, as a basic, is necessary in your criteria.

So, I’m asking:

Would you for any reason, choose to marry someone that abuses you, over someone that respects you?

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