Nollywood actress and mother of one, Tonto Dikeh might not be a Saint, but I don’t think any human deserves this type of treachery meted against her.
You see, I have always sounded it before this hullabaloos, and will keep repeating myself: Ensure you get yourself a warm-hearted partner — someone affectionate, and benign in manners.
Wealth is good and riches are essential but don’t ever consider these qualities in a partner, without asking this simple question:
“What type of heart does he/she have?”
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I have told this tale before but will relate it to this. My cousin-sister’s friend once took me out on a date after my cousin had convinced me that she has been asking after me a lot, and that it would be good to hang out with her and hear what she had to say.
Prior to then, I had received anonymous text messages, some of which were practically sweeping me off my feet. It was the same person. She was really good with the romantic lines.
The day we sat out together, she revealed herself to be the anonymous person and I was a bit relieved. I was seeing her around, and she seemed like a wonderful person. Her smile was as innocent as that of an infant, and she seemed to be brilliant too.
In fact, she seemed to tick 60% of my boxes.
But she did one thing that made me understand that we could only be friends. She had ordered 4 bottles of beer for herself and had ordered about 3 for me.
I have no problem with people who drink — provided you don’t get drunk — and I don’t criticize them. She appeared to be a heavy drinker, and I wasn’t uncomfortable still.
I quietly called the bartender and asked him to replace my bottles with a bottle of Malt. When she asked me my reasons for doing so, I simply told her I don’t take alcohol. You needed to see the way she shouted as if a nut was loosened from her head:
“How can a man not take alcohol?”
She said this while seated, after which she stood up and kept screaming it for up to five times. She didn’t care how I felt about it.
She was lagging in benign manners, and it became obvious that even though she was about sitting down, my stay there was over.
By the time she realized her mistakes, I had quietly excused myself from the table. I left the venue disappointed. Calls of “I’m sorry” from her could not solve it, because I do not joke with that box of being “kind or warm-hearted.” I was meant to complain that she was taking four bottles, yet I didn’t. I figured it’s something I could quietly relate to her later on, if it was necessary.
But she didn’t mind her utterances, and I felt really bad. My cousin-sister’s calls couldn’t even get me to go back to that table.
If Tonto had excesses, there are compassionate ways to relate it to her, but of course, you don’t expect that from a man like Kpokpogiri who’s lagging in benign manners. A kind person would never do this to her.
A kind lover would never wake up one morning, thinking of a way to make you sad, not to mention ways to subject you to public mockery.
Tonto is first human, and I feel very bad for her. What happened to her could happen to anybody who feels they’ve “found love,” so I don’t understand people who are saying she shouldn’t have been too open to him. At some point in a relationship, you must be vulnerable — it’s not even a debate.
That fact that I’ve been living in the same home with a partner who’s recording my conversations in order to spite me afterwards, is something I can’t wrap around my head. This must-have broken her a lot by now. Imagine if they had married?
I believe there’s a man for every woman, and vice-versa. It’s just a matter of meeting him or her. I think Tonto should slow down on relationships for now, and if possible, try to find love in another country.
And, there’s also a possibility of the Kpokpogiri being a scam from the first day of meeting — a well-orchestrated set-up by her enemies. Maybe, an ally of her ex-husband.
May we never meet people who will take our love for granted.
May we never meet people who are lagging in kindness.
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Written by: Edward Amah