Friday, February 3, 2023
HomeYour Child Is Not Your Lover - Victor Ruth

Your Child Is Not Your Lover – Victor Ruth

“Vic, my family and some other friends are asking me to focus on my child.

They said I shouldn’t think of a man. That I should focus on raising my son. Am I weird for desiring a man in my life?

I just want to have a beautiful relationship. Is it too much to ask?”

She said this to me on a phone call. She had called me to vent and evacuate her emotions.

Do you think she is asking for too much?

So here is the thing.

There are different types of relationships. Each type of relationship plays a different role in our lives.

I think this is why women are usually advised not to cut off their friends when they get into romantic relationships.

A relationship can quickly become a lonely place if the conditions aren’t right.

Asking a woman to focus on her child sounds like gender bias. Especially since we are not likely to say that to a man. And if we do, we may not say it as often as we would to a woman.

A woman’s child can only be her child. That child will not become her lover. Unless we are unconsciously trying to encourage incestuous relationships.

Your child will meet your need for motherhood, but that’s where it ends.

Your child will not give you intimacy and companionship.

Then of course there is the sexual need.

A person asking a woman to focus on her child and leave men (romantic relationships) alone is either being ignorant or malicious.

We can advise a woman to build relationships within healthy boundaries.

We can encourage her to choose her partner wisely.

But what we shouldn’t do is tell her to eliminate the option of a relationship in its entirety.

Healthy relationships are great. If she can build healthy relationships then nothing should stop her from doing that.

She has her own needs that should be met. Asking her to focus only on her child, feeds the narrative that all she lives for is her child.

As a woman, you have a life outside your motherhood, wifehood, daughterhood and other hoods.

You need to know that your desire to be in a relationship, as a divorcee, widow, single mother is valid. Do not entertain doubt. Be confident in your desire.

Your desire is valid.

And, you should also know that your child has his own life. He won’t always be there with you.

He will surely need to build his own relationships.

Do not turn him into what he is not. He is your child, not your lover and definitely not a replacement for his father.

If you want a relationship, go ahead and get a decent relationship. It is valid.


Article by Victor Ruth, Follow him on Facebook here

AfricanGlitz
AfricanGlitzhttp://www.africanglitz.com
African Glitz is an online based magazine bringing you all the latest Latest News in Film, Fashion, Music, Lifestyle, Entertainment as a whole from UK, Africa and beyond.
RELATED ARTICLES

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

- Advertisment -

Most Popular

Recent Comments

Hon Phillips Olubunmi Emmanuel councillor representing the good people of ward f1 surulere local government legislative council Nigeria on 22yrs Old Young Nigerian becomes youngest Councillor in the UK
Elizabeth umoru, business name ELIXIR'S EMPORIUM on Meet Lola Ibekwe CEO Libeks Beauty Consultants!
rawlings chenuka on
Sarah Emefa Adjei on
Doris s akpan on
Silver on
W Lloyd on
David on
Princess Toyin Onagoruwa on
emmanuel d hassan on
janet on
Segun on
L O on
Ronke on
Eric London on
Ola Ayeni on
aloys louis bodi on Diva Ambassador finalists 2015!
Ade on
Mendi on
rose umana on
Linda on
Hileni on
Bishop Ekong on
Adebimpe Temitope B on
Joshua Agboola on
Ayo Fash on
Onwa on
Emma on
Ayaba on
Roli maku on
DZhimel on
lil tee on
Noel on
Ademola Neil on
hrh on
maquin ebeama on
bella obi on LABO MOVIE HIT AGAIN!
Ayo Oyebade on OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE!
Yisa Olufemi Sanni on LABO! “LIFE IS A JOURNEY”. MOVIE