With Matrimony becoming one of the scariest things to delve into, there’s a recent surge in the number of young Nigerian men who do not want to be wedded in the church or in the court.
There are two major sad reasons for this:
A young man who is unsure of the true colours of his spouse-to-be, in recent times, considers the Traditional Marriage as an escape route, if she eventually turns out to be something terrible.
Secondly, men who are serial cheats, now prefer to only be involved in the Traditional Weddings.
When ladies worry about the decisions of some of these men, they are told that the African Tradition supersedes whatever the white man introduced to us as forms of marriages.
My sister once told me that a young man who arrived from Italy, decided to only have a Traditional Wedding with his fiancée. When she pressurized him on the status of their White Wedding, or Court Wedding, he told her to give him time. In the first one year of the union, the young man had painstakingly observed his wife enough to know that if he wasn’t wealthy, she would have had nothing to do with him.
Was she what he was looking for? No.
His knowledge of her type made him stir the marriage into small confusion, and this was easy to breed their separation. The girl tried to hold on to the union, but he insisted there was no need living with him – he wanted matrimony of true love, and not one that appeared as if he bought the love. If things become rough for him, there’s a high possibility that she’ll abandon him.
The marriage ended, and the lady couldn’t sue him to court for anything, because their union wouldn’t be recognized by the court, as I heard.
Another issue was the story of a Facebook lady whose husband had been cheating on her. She had two kids for him, and was looking for a way to leave the union. She made the plea for advises, using an anonymous name, and most of the responses moved towards the fact that she only had a Traditional Marriage with him.
She was a housewife who had given four years to the union, and was forced to put her career on hold.
How would she leave with her kids when it’s obvious that getting child support would be on the man’s terms? So, she was now left with an option of daring the consequences of separation, which will include hard times for her and her children, since she had no known source of income.
Promiscuous men have understood that not signing anything during marriage, would save them lots of stress when they misbehave, so they look for avenues to either delay a legally considered union, or not want it at all.
Most women should ensure that they at least, have a court signing, even if there are excuses from the men, for not wanting a White Wedding.
Signings during Court and White Weddings doesn’t stop the man from misbehaving, but overlooking it could cost the woman something, if she ends up wasting her years for someone who has no value for her.
Yes, there’s a possibility that he hasn’t done a Court/White Wedding with you, because he has no value for you.
Written by: Edward Amah