“Living Through The Eyes Of Our Parents Does Not Educate Us Enough For Marriage”- Kaffy Oluwatoyin Narrates Ordeal On How She Stopped Sleeping With Her Husband Three Years Before They Divorced


Famous Nigerian dance queen Kafayat Oluwatoyin, better known as Kaffy, has revealed she was celibate for three years in her marriage.

The 41-year-old dancer made this statement in an interview with media personality Chude Jideonwo.

Kaffy married Joseph Ameh, an ex-drummer in PSquare’s music band, on June 2, 2012.

The Lagos State-born dancer claimed her husband cheated on her with her best friend, and she started healing when she stopped sleeping with him.

“Let me tell you, when I started healing, I stopped sleeping with my husband. I was celibate in my marriage for three years before getting a divorce.”

According to her, she understood that marriage was an alignment of assignment.

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“There are different red flags that we women in love are blinded by,” the dancer noted.

“I was thinking at the beginning that I have found someone else that would make me happy. That’s the most selfish thinking that any human being can have for another human being,” she added.

Their union was blessed with two children not until the dancer announced their divorce on Instagram in January 2022.

Kafayat Oluwatoyin Shafau (born 30 June 1980), popularly known by her stage name Kaffy is a Nigerian dancer, choreographer, dance instructor and fitness coach. She is also the founder and owner of Imagneto Dance Company. She is best known for breaking the Guinness World Record for “Longest Dance Party” at the Nokia Silverbird Danceathon in 2006.

Watch Kafayat Oluwatoyin Shafau Narrate Her Ordeal

Kaffy’s dancing career took off after she went to an event to perform onstage by someone who spotted her when she used to go to the National Stadium during weekends for dance rehearsals and workouts.

In 2006, Kaffy led her dance group to break the Guinness Book of Record for “Longest Dance Party” after they danced for 55hours and 40minutes. She is currently a dance instructor who has developed innovative visualisation-based methods for teaching dance and dance fitness in an accelerated-learning format.

In 2017, she created ‘The Dance Workshop ‘ a dance convention aimed at training and mentoring professional dancers as well as promoting cultural exchange within the Nigerian dance industry. The 2017 Edition featured America’s leading choreographer, AY Hollywood.

Lessons learnt

Although the couple is successful in their own right, Kaffy said the divorce gave both of them a chance to grow.

Kaffy said that she doesn’t blame herself or her husband for the divorce after nine years.

According to her, the divorce would help them become better and more incredible people, and it would help them achieve their assignment, which they believed was given to them.

“That if I love him, I need to let him go, he needs to go out there and become, he needs to find out how he will become, and I will be so happy. It will feel like the whole nine years was not for nothing because when you love someone, you would want to see the best of them,” Kaffy said as she broke into tears.

Childhood experiences

According to the muti-award winning dancer, she came from a family where domestic violence was the order of the day.

Kaffy said that she had the most traumatic childhood, as her parents were in the habit of attacking each other with knives.

Speaking about the domestic violence in her parent’s marriage, she noted that her parents used sharp objects like knives and forks when they were fighting.

“All the knives, all the forks, anything that can break and poke, or insect, even spoons we hide spoons,” she said as she described her childhood experiences with her parents.

Kaffy said that her parent’s divorce led her to single parenthood.

“If they probably took better decisions, they wouldn’t be dead,” Kaffy said.

Kaffy announced her father’s death in September 2021.

Despite her childhood and recent experiences, Kaffy remains committed to fulfilling her aspirations.

She is a choreographer, dance instructor, fitness coach and the founder of Imagneto Dance Company.

In 2006, Kaffy led her dance group to break the Guinness Book of Record for “Longest Dance Party” after dancing for 55 hours and 40 minutes.

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