Nollywood actress and singer, Dayo Amusa, has disclosed why she remained in an abusive relationship.
The demise of gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachukwu, who gave up the ghost over the weekend as a result of alleged domestic violence, has sparked a lot of wonder in the internet space.
Dayo waded into the ongoing abusive relationship saga on Monday afternoon where she shared a touching opinion on the issue.
She described herself as always wanting to be the fixer, that is why she always remained in abusive relationships but failed to amend anything regarding the problem.
She still continued to state that it was the affinity to often arrange broken relationships that made her magnet ‘broken men’.
According to a clip she shared recently from one of the movies she starred in titled, ‘Unforgivable (Ainidariji), which centred on domestic violence, she captioned it,
“YOU CAN NOT FIX A BROKEN EGG. l used to be a fixer. I stayed in bad relationships, attracting the same type of men – men who needed to be fixed.
“I know so many women in the same position. We attract cheating men, commitment-phobic men, emotionally unavailable men, emotionally damaged men, alcoholics, drug abusers, narcissists and sociopaths. It’s like we are a magnet for men whose pieces are shattered all over the place and for some reason, we feel compelled to put these pieces back together, but I must admit, I have failed every single time.
“I never gave myself a chance to sit back and question my motives. Instead of asking why I constantly felt obligated to pick up someone else’s broken pieces, I ran to pick them up without a second thought. Being selfless made me think that coming second didn’t matter because I was putting someone else’s worthiness first and in the end, rank doesn’t matter, right?
“I realized that the reason I was attracting these types of men was because I believed I could save them. As selfless, thoughtful, giving women, we think we will be “that woman”-the one who will change them.
We think we can turn a cheater into a loyal boyfriend. We think we can help him walk away from the drugs and alcohol.
We believe we can help him get over his commitment issues and aim for a stable future with us.
We trust that we can get rid of the emotional baggage that he has been carrying for years.
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“We attract these men, she continued because we believe they need us and to leave them would be selfish, insensitive and ruthless. The sad news is, we constantly blame ourselves when they don’t change. Every time they fail us, we think it’s because we failed them. Their hold on us becomes stronger; they keep us around knowing they have nothing to offer. It’s just my view, if that relationship or marriage is toxic, please move!”
