It is NOT Biblical neither is it traditional to Africans that women should take their husbands’ names.
Yet, whenever I say I don’t want to change my name, some mumus will come and tell me that we are trying to copy the oyibos.
No dear, I’m trying to go back to my Nigerian roots.
You people keep talking about how we are copying the whites and how we should be African. Now, we want to be African, and you are still crying. Because this part of oyibo culture fans your patriarchal brain.
Just imagine me removing Bianze for which name sef?
Who you?
Who born you?
Where you from?
Who is ya papa and what is his name?
Ehen, there is this woman I really feel sorry for.
She got married and changed her name. Then she became widowed.
She did introduction with another man and changed her name again. She later realized that the man was married already. She didn’t carry on with him.
She got married again and changed her name again.
I don’t know but I feel sorry for her. Woman doesn’t even accept her identity without a man. Poor her!
And erm… let’s state it now…
No law obligates women to take their husbands’ names.
No Nigerian trade obligates a woman to take her husband’s name.
Christianity and Islam do NOT obligate women to take their husbands’ names.
NYSC is trumping on the rights of women when they require them to change their names to be recognized as married.
I did my NYSC in 2013, obviously single. If I were married, I DEFINITELY would have filed a lawsuit against NYSC and would have written a detailed letter to the UN telling them how an organization in Nigeria is infringing on the rights of women and forcing them to change their identities.
After that, I would have still done the NYSC WITHOUT changing my name.
The thing is that MOST Nigerian women are TOO LAZY to fight for their rights. They would rather play victims.
No immigration officer has the right to tell you to change your name before a Passport would be issued to you as a married woman.
My elder sisters are both married and had their passports done in Nigeria and they never changed their names. Those morons in the immigration offices look at faces before they decide whether to behave or be morons.
I have NEVER faced any of these issues you women face. No one close to me has ever faced them without fighting or talking their ways through. I go to a lot of Nigerian offices and institutions battle-ready. I go ready to gather evidence. Fortunately or unfortunately, they don’t give me a headache. I don’t know if they guess that this one came ready for trouble.
I want to get married. I will obviously NOT change my name. Then I will visit a Nigerian immigration office with a body camera. I want to see that mad man or woman that will look me in the face and tell me that I must change my name or get my Passport as a single.
I also want to have children. Have different surnames with them. Get to Nigerian airport with the birth certificates (which has my name as their mother) and let me see that airport moron who would tell me that I’m not their mother because we don’t bear same surname.
Like I said, I go to Nigerian institutions battle-ready. I actually pray for them to be mad so that I can get a scapegoat. So far, I’ve not been lucky enough to get one.
BUT…
I’m the “troublesome woman”. Most Nigerian women are the virtuous women. They don’t want trouble. So, they dance to the whims and dictates of the society, including the outright silly and discriminating ones.
But it took some “troublesome women” to get to where we are today.
Once upon a time, women didn’t have the right to vote and be voted for. Many virtuous women decide to live that way. But some rebellious women decided to SAY NO!
There are still some changes that need to be made. And it would take some other rebellious women to stand up and SAY NO!
I have done my NYSC. I did NOT have any issue. I was posted to a State of my choice and redeployed to my State of origin at my request.
I have never encountered most of these problems women face in Nigeria. I hope to encounter one soon. Not for any other reason but because I actually feel like fighting. I want to fight. But people take their troubles away from me. Why? It’s only small fight I want to fight. Just small fight and small drama. 😏
