“I used to have an old friend who was my classmate during my graduate studies. As at 2013 (when we met), he had lived in London for years. He was married to a Nigerian woman who according to him, showed him hell, and they had just recently divorced.
He wanted to remarry, and he told me that he was going to Nigeria to marry a wife.
His ex-wife whom he claims almost killed him was brought from the village to London. According to him, as soon as she got her PR, she changed.
Now, this man was going back to same village to marry another wife material. Again? But you know, that’s none of my business.
When I asked him “what about the many single Nigerian women in London?”, he responded that their “eyes are too open”, and they are not wife materials. Then, I responded “I hope you know your 5 year old daughter will be one of these London girls soon? Or do you plan to take her to your village so that your grandmother and mother can join forces to help her grow her wife material?”. His response shocked me…. he said that he had no intention of doing such, even though his ex-wife would approve of it. Because he intends to raise his daughter as a strong independent woman “here in London”.
I guess the hypocrisy is glaring, and the point I’m trying to drive at with the first paragraph of this post has been made clear.
This trend is common with Nigerian men in London. They date the Nigerian girls in their immediate environment, but go back home to marry a supposedly wife material. Most often than not, these imported wife materials turn out “worse” than the London or UK based Nigerian women. But that’s not the point I’m driving at. The point is that these same men raise their daughters in same city or environment where they found no woman worthy of marriage.
Same thing with some Igbo guys in big Nigerian cities…. they go back home to marry wife materials to a city like Lagos, because in their minds, Lagos girls are not wife material enough. Then they end up raising their daughters in same city where there are no qualified wife materials.
Most Nigerians can relate to these. These are things we see on daily basis.
Let me state these for me upteenth time…
The MAJOR difference between most of those “opened eye” city girls and your village “Nwanyi” is that one has had the opportunity to open eye while the other hasn’t. Given the opportunity and a few years of integrating into the environment, you will most likely end up with same thing you ran away from…. or worse.
When it comes to humans, in some cases, the ONLY difference between an angel and a devil is that one was raised and has a masters and PhD in the act of pretense while the other is either in primary school or completely alien to pretense.
Over the years, many have now realized this and are now beginning to search for wives (and husbands) in their immediate environments. No one is an angel…. you are not. Just choose that person whose imperfections you can live with.
Written by: Nkechi Bianze.
Nkechi Bianze is a student, feminist advocate and a fearless writer. You can follow her on Facebook to read more of her intresting arquements here
