Popular Nigerian fearless writer, Nkechi Bianze looks into Marital issues and different forms of Counselling. Talking to women, she advises them not to take their marital problems to pastors, village elders or family members as the woman will always end up receiving the relationship infidelity blame. Read.
“If you take your marital issues to your Church, Mosques, Pastors, Bishops, Imams, Nigerian Marriage Counsellors (Especially the religious ones), your village elders and kinsmen, and many Nigerians who have been married for 100 years or more, there is a 90% chance that you will be blamed and they will support your husband.
Those people are programmed to function like robots. All they will tell you is how you should be submissive, see your husband as the head, and do whatever he wants “for peace to reign”.
Most of these people do NOT think you should have a say. They believe that marriage is the coming together of a man and woman, where the man exercises authority and behaves or misbehaves as he wishes, and the woman does just what he wants. They don’t believe that the needs of a woman, her desires and all are important in a marriage. It’s all about the man. Anything he does must have been caused by his wife…. somehow. He is never responsible for his wrongs. You know, men are like babies, but they are still the heads of families anyway.
So, when I still see women bring their issues to the above-mentioned class of people, I feel pity for them.
Most often than not, common sense tells you what to do. But the need for validation and “what people will say” will not let you people use your brains”.
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Nkechi Bianze is a student, feminist advocate and a fearless writer. You can follow her on Facebook to read more of her interesting arguments here
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