Your Relationship Or Your Friends, Which Do You Value The Most?

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Editors Thought: Would You Value Your Friends Over A Love Interest?

They say different strokes for different folks! Yes most people will value their partner over friendship, they’ll automatically shut friends out once a possible relationship is at stake, While some wouldn’t value a lover over friendship, mostly a very deep friendship which seeds deep from a young age or long period of time. However, once you get married, do all this rules still apply?

Specifically In the African Community, I have read so many stories about women, relationship and friendship. In most cases, women tend to shut out friends when a possible suitor or a serious relationship that can lead to marriage emergencies, why? Because in many a time, best friends have been known to betray in different form, from Snatching the possible suitor to telling him ill things about his future wife and much more. Even parents tend to warn their daughters about telling best friends about active relationships and marriage.

While in the developed country and some parts of the world, your best friend gives the go-ahead order or green light. They help you see the flaws and reminds you what you’re getting yourself into. They are a crying shoulder for whenever you need it or after a breakup and before you jump into a new relationship. They are the ones you have your best times and greatest memory with, and the list goes on.

How do you measure relationship and friendship?

Sexual attraction is one of those things that we all want to feel with our partners. There is nothing like that electrical current that draws two people together like magnets. 

Friendship is an investment of time spent learning to communicate and assessing your compatibility. We don’t typically choose to have friends we have nothing in common with. Instead, our friends are chosen based on respect, the time and fun we have when we are together and whether their values are similar to our own.

If you focus on things you and your friends  enjoy, nurture your sense of adventure and continue to have open communication, your chances of still being friends for the long run is high and this is when you start listening to their advice or relay on them more than your relationship.

For those of us who are still dating, Here are 8 Reasons Why Your Friend Is More Important Than Your Boyfriend/girlfriend

1. Your best friend has seen you at your worst and they still love you. They have no need to see you looking pretty or together all the time. You can have the biggest pimple ever and they’d still accept you. thus you wouldn’t have to worry about looking good.
2. Your best friend has probably been around longer than your boyfriend/girlfriend. They are reliable, loyal and entrenched in your life, in most cases.
3. You feel more relaxed and honest around you best-friend.
4. You don’t have to impress your best friend. You can be yourself.
5. Your best friend will drop everything and come rescue you and you’d do the same for them.
6. Your best friend will understand you and not judge you. You talk to them and feel totally understood most times.
7. You’ve always been sure about your best friend, but you sometimes doubt if your boyfriend/girlfriend is really “the one.”
8. Your best friend is there for you after every break up and through every shitty ex. They will put you back together when you’re hurt.

And for those of us who dump our best friends for a new relationship, this is only acceptable only if you’ve been hurt and don’t trust your best friend, kindly break it off at the right time, mostly before getting into a new relationship. Some of us are lucky to meet a partner who either gradually or instantly becomes our BFF, while some don’t. if you’re going to release your best friend or friends over a lover, think it through before making a grave mistake. 

If you are single and you find yourself beginning to feel a different kind of chemistry with a close friend, know that you’re in the good company of many couples who have loved and lasted.

And to conclude my point, you are in a different level once you’re married. Couples who start out as friends and whose love deepens enjoy a romantic love versus a passionate love. A research claims that a strong friendship is the secret to a long-lasting romantic relationship. Once you’re married, try and make your partner your BFF if you can. If your best friend becomes your lover, this is like hitting the jack pot.

I had love to hear your story or opinion too!

Written by: Noellin Imoh-Griffiths